Update.

Hotel in Knoxville is booked.

I've started my next menstrual cycle, which means tomorrow I start on estrogen supplements to prepare me for the mock trial.

I'm actually relieved (for once!) that my cycle came when I expected it, because I have (or God had) timed perfectly the dates for this mock trial and the date for when the outside monitoring facility here in Portland has to see me for a follow up on day 14 of my cycle. This is good news, because that will be on Wed, June 9, which -- hoping I'm medically cleared after both these appointments -- NEDC should start the matching process that week or early the following week. We're still probably looking at a September transfer date at the earliest, which I have now found peace with. ; )

A week from now, we'll be in Knoxville!

Trust.

It looks like the transfer will not be until September. The July transfer dates are almost full, so it's looking like if we are medically cleared and have a match relatively soon after the June meeting, we would go back to Tennessee sometime between September 18-25.
Sigh.
Again, not the timeline I was hoping for, but again, still faster than we had originally expected with NEDC.
As for Bethany's program, would you believe I STILL have not received a final application from them?
You just have to laugh.

Embryo Adoption: A Choice Put to the Test

I literally got out of bed tonight to write this blog. I couldn't sleep. I had to put this down on paper (or on a computer screen).

I am in awe of our God.

Today, a very dear and wise friend called me and told me there were 2 birthmothers who wanted to choose adoption. Coincidence or not (not!), I knew from her email "call me" exactly what this was going to be about.

I listened intently to what she had to say, head spinning. Two birthmoms. Both due in a manner of months. Committed to adoption.

Head spinning.

I got off the phone and prayed, "Lord, lead me. Guide me. Tell me what you want me to do. If this isn't our path, lead me to who I should talk to." The very same prayer I say on my knees every morning.

I spoke with the adoption attorney working with these two young ladies. (Who, coincidence or not (not!), started practicing law the very month AND year that I was born). I gathered information. Both birthmoms very committed to adoption -- have placed before. I felt convinced that if we elected to go down this road, we would end up with a baby in our arms. I just knew that.

And then God spoke up.

On my way home from work today, I felt slowly impressed that our role here was not to adopt either one of these precious babies. That was not our purpose. Instead, we were to help find them homes, but not BE the home.

I got home and talked with Tygh. He confirmed what he had been feeling as well.

So I got to work carefully choosing the right people to talk to. Specifically, I presented the opportunity to two families (remember, two birthmoms) whose hearts are aimed at adoption. One family quickly jumped on the opportunity (after considered prayer -- perhaps in a hurry! -- of course). Smile. In fact, they may be on their way to meet at least one of the birthmoms this week! Thank you, Lord!

I feel at peace. I thank God that my "connections" that God placed before me -- all around me-- on this strangely beautiful adoption journey may have led two women in crisis to unite over the love of an unborn baby.

Neither of these children will be Brae's sibling. With a slight ache, we feel at peace with that. At any other time in our lives, we would have jumped, assaulted anyone who obstructed our path, and raced to adopt one (or both!) of these babies. We would have gone through every door and waited for God to slam it shut.

But not this time. God, in all His glory, very quickly halted us and told us to not even go through the door. Rather, we were to help unlock the door for someone else. WOW! What an honor! What a privilege to be a part of God's work! Shivers.

About a month ago, I told another dear friend that our heart was in embryo adoption right now. And that if a birthmom were to come up to me and say she would give me her baby and would not change her mind, I would have to say "no." I said that, at the time, half-joking, because anyone who knows our adoption journey knows that our history with birthmoms is quite the opposite! (We went through 9 failed adoption leads before Brae).

And now, today, I was faced with that very dilemma. And we chose to stay the course that God has put before us. We believe embryo adoption is where He wants us.

I have to say there will probably be a pang if the embryo adoption doesn't work and we will have "passed up" these leads. But then, I just have to think that if God can so quickly place 2 birthmoms in my path, surely He will provide Brae his sibling one day.

G'night.

Homestudy Approved!

Yay!

We hope that it will be on its way to NEDC next week, well in time for them to review it prior to our June 3 appointment.

Next steps are we are continuing to satisfy the 10-hour training requirement. When my next cycle starts in a couple weeks, I will then start on some hormones that will get me ready for the June 3 visit. After the June 3 visit, I have an ultrasound at our local facility to time it just right with where I'm at in my cycle.

Then, hoping all goes well, once I start my June menstrual cycle, I can start on the hormones needed to prep me for the actual transfer. That would only happen if we were successfully matched with a genetic family prior to July.

I must say the timing of all this seems so fast that I'm a little skeptical about whether we'll actually be able to have the transfer in July, so it may be September.

I can't believe we formally started down this road in January, here it is May, and we may be PUPO (pregnant until proven otherwise) by July or September!

Also, Tygh and I have decided (pending doctor approval and logistics) that we'd probably transfer 3 embryos -- if 3 were available to transfer. We did 2 with our IVF and it didn't work, so 3 does not seem like an unreasonable number. Of course you pray and want each of them to make it and have a chance at life, but the thought of triplets (gulp) scares me. But truth be told, I'm WAY more scared of it not working at all.

Mentally, though, I'm in a good place. The sun is out and God is smiling. We feel confident we are resting squarely within His will. We're just on this journey He has set forth with us. The plan and all the details are already worked out. As our pastor says, "We're just going fishing with Dad."