Homestudy visit.

Was uneventful. Very laid back and casual. No pressure. No stress. Very unlike the last time almost 2 years ago. The one downfall is that Susan has 4 homestudies to write ahead of us. Sure. Likely story. ; )
So, she said that ours will be at least a month away. Again, not the timeline I was hoping for. Especially because the embryo adoption is essentially on hold until that homestudy is written. There are ministerial things we can do in the meantime like do our training video and complete some other paperwork, but it's a discouragement nonetheless.
So, we're just trying to stay comfortably numb and keep ourselves occupied. Not a lot more we can do.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. This is a process that is not on our timetable.
But we do ultimately trust that God's hands are all over this. There is a reason for every second of it.

Update.

We had our last (phew!) counseling session for the embryo adoption last night. It was much more fun than the rest. We got to talk about what kind of couple we wanted to be matched with. We said the obvious: good-looking, rich, smart, funny. Shouldn't be a problem.
Then we talked about next steps. Our homestudy is this Monday. Once it is finalized (should take a few weeks with most adoption case workers --will probably take til end of summer with our current one) (just kidding) (maybe), then we get to actually start the matching process with the embryo folks. That will be totally out of our hands. We've put our best face forward with respect to our profile, but it's really up to God (isn't everything?).
We still have some training to do, but that shouldn't hold up the process. I also need to start birth control and do a trial transfer, but I'm holding off on that for now.
I'm realizing Brae is a handful and do I really want more kids?
Silly question.
Ignore it.

Bad News/Good News

Bad news: our homestudy has been postponed until Monday, March 29.

Good news: we've completed the 2nd of our 3 "work sessions" with the Bethany embryo adoption counselor.

Bad news: We do not like these work sessions.

Good news: At least this next work session we get to talk about fun stuff like what we're "looking" for in a genetic match.

Bad news: We have to talk about this stuff for an hour.

Good news: We signed up for the training seminar we have to complete as part of the "new, improved, expanded training required for returning families."

Bad news: Do I even need to say the bad news about this?

Good news: We are able to do some of the training by video.

Bad news: We actually have to watch this video.

Good news: Once the training is complete, our homestudy will be done and we can officially start the matching process with the embryo specialist.

Bad news: This was not the timing I was told in the beginning.

Good news: I am learning to forgive that indiscretion.

Bad news: Depending on how long the matching process takes, we may not have a transfer until late spring, early summer.

Good news: We ultimately trust God is in control and that this is HIS timing we are working under, not ours or anyone else.

Bad news: I am still not convinced this is how God will choose to get us pregnant.

Good news: That's okay, because I remain convinced we will get preggers again one day.

Now for a goosebumps story. About 2 weeks ago, I was feeling overwhelmed with the impression that one day, we were going to have a baby girl (biological or otherwise) and I was to name her Sienna (or some other spelling variation of that). I was literally bombarded with that name for a period of about 3 days. I think in one day, I came across it like 6 times. I felt convinced God was speaking to me: "You will have a girl one day, and you shall name her Sienna."

I told my Bible study group that last week, and said I really ought to look up what that name means. This week, a sweet girl named Sarah asked me if I had looked it up. I said I had not. She said she had been praying for me since the week prior and decided to look up the name of the meaning. She pulled out her baby names book and found a spelling variant of that name that means, get this, "Promise of God."

I had shivers.

Bad news: I do not like the name Sienna.

Good news: God can make me like it.

Update.

We had our first "consultation" with the embryo donation coordinator last Thursday. Our next one is this coming Thursday. We understand this is a process, but honestly, we've done SO much research on embryo adoption, we feel we could be presenting a course on it. That said, it was good for Tygh to hear all the info from the coordinator herself. And, it was really neat to hear him say that he was on board with this process and ready to move full steam ahead. He actually said that the doors have been opening and so there is no reason to not continue. Phew! Thank you, Lord, that it seems I have not dragged my husband into this. He has appeared to come to this decision on his own, in his own time and on his own terms. Love my beau Tygh.

We learned that we have a new 10 hour training requirement to satisfy our homestudy. We suggested we take it by video. They responded that 2 hours of video = 1 hour of in-person training. Are you kidding? Sigh. Ok. We'll do it.

Our homestudy is scheduled for next Wednesday the 24th.

Hopefully we can start the matching process (which can take many months, apparently) in the next few weeks. We are waiting to receive our final application paperwork to start that process.

Yup. It's a process.

Ehhh....

So just spoke with the embryo donation coordinator and she gave me a "come to Jesus" talk, if you will. She said the matching process typically takes 4-5 months (yikes), although it can be much quicker. I feel deceived. Is that too bold of a statement? I feel that we were coaxed into this program under the belief that it would be much faster than that. That said, it is much faster than the NEDC program, so it doesn't feel like a closed door. It just feels like a process we have to perservere through. She's going to have another phone consultation with me and Tygh tomorrow night, and then 2 more after that. She has our profile already, so once we fill out our final application, we should be able to start the matching process. At this point, I think I'm going to hold off "prepping" my body for the transfer (ultrasounds, birth control, etc.) until we actually have a match. So, it's looking like this transfer will NOT happen this spring, but maybe this summer. Again, SO not the timeline I had in mind, but there's not a lot we can do about it. We just continue to trust there is a God rhyme and reason to this.

LORD -- we trust you.

Teeny update.

Just learned (and made my day) that we do NOT have to do one of the live web chats -- the one that was not scheduled until May (woo hoo!). So that means we COULD have a transfer as early as next month if the stars align and the angels sing. It may still not be until May anyway. But looks like all that remains now is our homestudy visit to happen and be written; for us to start the matching process; do some additional training; get some ultrasounds; and start birth control and injections.
Geez-- didn't seem like a lot before I started typing.

Epiphany: Adoption is a PROCESS.

Update: our homestudy visit is scheduled (!) for Wednesday, March 24 at 2 p.m. We're also "supposed" to hear from the Bethany embryo department this week or next to talk about next steps. We've signed up for 5 live web chats that we have to participate in. The last one cannot be done until first part of May, so it is looking like early-mid May is the earliest the transfer could happen. Can I repeat my epiphany: this is a PROCESS. An annoying, cumbersome, burdensome, four-letter-word PROCESS. Sigh. Trying to not let the drudgery of the process curb my enthusiasm. How do you think I'm doing so far?

Still feel a peace that this is what we're supposed to be doing -- again, whether it works or not. God wants us on this road. We hope and pray there is a baby bump that will come out of it, but if not, it was an interesting ride, and we'll go back to the much more familiar and needle-free domestic infant path.

This last weekend I had the joy of meeting a friend who has done embryo adoption successfully and has a beautiful 6 month little baby boy named Caedmon. Good to know the PROCESS works. Tygh also got to meet her and see the baby boy and realize that even frozen snow babies turn out just fine.

Still on the NEDC wait list, although for no particular reason other than that they won't refund the $200 fee that we had to pay to get on the list. So, I'm spiting myself alone I'm sure by just staying on the darn list. I'm stubborn like that.

We've started working on Brae's "big boy" room, and by "working on it" all that means is that about 3 weeks ago I started blue taping the room. Have not done anything to it since. And yet I'm realizing that he has outgrown his baby room and quickly need to get on it. His latest adventure is that he has learned how to open doors. The pantry door is his favorite for obvious reasons. He particularly likes to get the dog biscuits out, and one by one take a biscuit out and mercilessly tease Norm and Lilith as he runs around the house holding the biscuits in his hand and mouth. Eventually, he'll slow down long enough to place one biscuit on the floor, to which Norm and Lilith leap upon, and then the game continues with him running around the house with dog biscuits. Better than scissors, I suppose.