Birthmom visit: What she said

Last weekend, we had our 4th visit with Brae's birthmom and his half-sister. 

I've said time and time again that genetics play a nominal role in the similarities between siblings, and yet each time I see Brae's half-sister, I feel like that role just keeps getting bigger.

They look so much alike.  They make the same facial expressions.  They make the same hand gestures.  Even their pout is the same.  They react to things very similarly.  It's astounding.

They are both very independent, strong-willed, and confident kids (all "nice" ways of saying "bossy"). 

I know all of these traits can be positives when channelled the right way. 

Brae's birthmom is engaged and getting married next summer.  I reiterated that if she wants us there, or Brae even in the wedding, it would be an honor.  She beamed and nodded.

As the conversation was winding down, we talked a little about Sienna (who was traipsing around the little gym, minding her own business).  And then Brae's birthmom said something that stung my gut:

"You know, I was a little worried when you told me you were pregnant with Sienna.  That you wouldn't want or love Brae as much because you didn't carry him."

Right. in. the. gut. 

I don't blame her at all for saying this. I think it's a very human and natural concern.  I get it.

But for us, it is so wrong. 

I explained to her that couldn't be further from the truth.  Brae made me a mom.  Sienna made me pregnant.  They are both so special and unique in their own ways.  I told her it was actually harder for me to bond with Sienna, simply because she was a "fussier" baby.  Brae was easy as pie.  Sienna was more high maintenance.

My love and attachment to each Brae and Sienna developed in their own natural ways, and neither of them had anything to do with whether I carried them or not.  They were both mine. 

She grinned. I think she got it.

The bond between brother and sister

Brae and Sienna share a very special bond.  I can kind of relate to it, because I have a younger sister, and three older stepbrothers. 

But Brae and Sienna's bond is unique.

They share not one gene between them, and
yet are thick as thieves.

They are the first person the other wants to see in the morning, and the last person the other wants to see at night.

Brae "reads" to Sienna. Sienna "cooks" him food. Brae "carries" her places. Sienna "helps" get him dressed.

If one isn't around, the other gets sad. And when they are together, they are running around the house laughing.

Even when they are fighting, it lasts only seconds before they are running around laughing again.

They say that boys mature slower than girls. Well, with them being only 2.5 years apart, and Brae being the oldest (and less mature), that age gap seems even smaller.

I'm so grateful for their bond and pray that it always remains this strong. I pray that Brae watches over her his whole life, and that she continues to look up to him as her older, protective big brother.

Some movement.

We have a new caseworker.  She emailed me even before I had a chance to email her!  And, she wants to set up a meet and greet.  I already like her. 

I also took a peek at the waiting children profile portal.  This profile portal is set up for families who have approved homestudies.  There are more children shown in this portal than in the general public viewing portal.  The children shown in the general public viewing portal are, unfortunately, the children who need the most advocacy.  My heart aches for them.

The children in this private portal are the ones that will get sought after quickly.  They have little/no drug exposure.  There are babies.  They are what, stereotypically, waiting families "want."

I did a search for children under the age of 2.  I was pleasantly surprised to see quite a few children in this age category.

There was even a sister sibling couple, age 2 and newborn.  They didn't live together.  It broke my heart. 

And yet, we just aren't ready to make that next leap.  I'd like to get more settled into our new home.  We're also taking our last kid-less vacation in May, and I'd like to wait until after then before actively pursuing any leads.

But, I was infused with hope that our next child could very well be in this pool of children. 

That made me happy.