I won the Lottery!

Ok, so not that lottery.  But I won the kindergarten lottery!  Simply, this means that Brae got his first-choice for kindergarten next year.  He will be able to continue his Spanish immersion education (that he's been in since he was 3 months old) by enrolling into our elementary school's Spanish immersion program.  The kids stay together from K-5.  Instruction is 50% Spanish and 50% English.

We are thrilled. This also means that Sienna has priority when she's ready for kindergarten.

As you probably know, Spanish is the second most used language in the United States.  There are more Spanish speakers in the US than of Chinese, French, German, Italian, Hawaiian, and all the Native American languages, combined.   According to the 2012 US Census, Spanish is the primary language spoken at home by nearly 40 million people.  That is double what it was in 1990.

Spanish speakers are the fastest growing linguistic group in the US.  By 2050 (Brae will be 41; Sienna will be 38; baby in the oven will be 36), the US will become the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world, and Spanish will be the second-most-spoken language in the world, surpassed only by Chinese.  That means that English will be spoken less than Spanish. 

More and more businesses are requiring bilingual employees.  Bilingual employees can earn $20,000 more per year simply by being bilingual. 

With all this data (and believe me, there's more), you may see why it is so important for us that our children speak another language, particularly Spanish.  But, it's more than just all these figures.  I began learning Spanish when I was in 7th grade, and continued formal education of the language through college.  It has helped me immensely in my personal and professional life.  My sister is a Spanish high school teacher.  My mom speaks Spanish and is able to use her medical degree to travel the world with "Doctors without Borders." 

Tygh, well, el no habla espanol.  Que lamenta.

There's also another reason why it was so important for our kids to get a Spanish education early, particularly for Brae.  Brae is a quarter Peruvian.  We wanted him to be able to connect to his Latin roots and have the opportunity, if he wanted, to travel the world with the ability to converse easily with native speakers. 

Even today, when Brae speaks Spanish with native speakers, the native speakers (and others watching) are absolutely dumbfounded.  This 5-year-old, pale-skinned, skinny "white" boy is talking fluently in Spanish with them.  They get a tickle out of it. 

And I just have to smile at this gift he's been given.

Posts.

When I was pregnant with Sienna, I never posted anything about it on any social media site.  In fact, after she was born, and I did post pictures of her, many acquaintances sent me messages, marveling about how they didn't even know I was pregnant.

With this pregnancy, I've pretty much done the same thing.  I have never posted anything about being pregnant, and don't plan to.

This is deliberate.  For me, I remember the pain each time someone I knew posted about being pregnant, and showed off their growing belly.  It killed me inside. 

Perhaps I'm more sensitive than most, but when I see posts about someone announcing their engagement, I immediately think of all the girls crying because they just broke up with their boyfriend.  When I see posts about someone announcing their cool new job, I think of all the people who have just lost theirs.  When I see posts about someone's awesome vacation, I think of all the people who can't afford to take one. 

Don't get me wrong.  I enjoy seeing all these happy posts, and like to celebrate with others in their joy.  There is nothing malicious in posting stuff like this.  But my heart goes out to all of those who have been marginalized by this same celebration and joy. 

With everything we've been through, I just cannot bring myself to announce this pregnancy or post belly pics on social media.  Instead of basking in all of the uplifting messages I'm sure we'd get, I will be obsessed with the one girl whose day got a little darker because of that news. 

Because I had many of those dark days, too. 

Sibling Love... is driving me Crazy

Brae and Sienna love each other.  A lot.  And trust me, this warms a mother's heart.  I remain in awe about their close bond, despite not sharing a gene between them.  Again, love makes a family, not genetics.

But... sometimes, their bond drives me up the wall.  A few cases in point:

1) One minute, they are on the floor tickling one another, laughing hysterically.  The next, Sienna is running to me, bawling, and she has a scratch on her cheek.  Brae isn't far behind, screaming, with bite marks on his shoulder.

2) Brae brushes her hair in the morning, putting barrettes in her hair.  When I come in, she has blue, sticky hair.  Toothpaste.

3) When Sienna runs out of underwear, Brae gives her his.

4) Brae has no problem giving Sienna some "tough physical love."  But he will not stand for anyone else treating her that way.  I've had to explain to more than one mother that when Brae screamed, red-faced at her child for even touching Sienna, Brae was really just defending her honor. 

... And this one really sticks in my craw....

5) I put the kids to bed, in their separate rooms, around 8 p.m.  And sometimes, in the middle of the night (e.g., 1 a.m.), I hear noises upstairs.  Brae has sneaked into Sienna's room, pulled her out of bed, and they've tiptoed into his room, where he reads to her.  Sienna now has a bell on her door. 

Being a Minority

 A friend of mine recently posted a very insightful blog on her site, and with her permission, I'm duplicating some of it here....

 

The US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that that in 2012 there were 9,134,000 women with children under the age of three.  6,334,000 of those women work and 2,595,000 of those women work 35 or more hours a week.  These are my peeps, other full time working moms.  What do these numbers tell me?  They tell me that only 1/3 women with itty bitty kiddos work and that only 2/5 women with itty bitty kiddos who do work, work full time.  What this also means is that I am squarely a minority.  Being a minority doesn’t bother me per se and it  isn’t necessarily a negative, but what it does mean is that social policy and culture in the US often does not cater to my needs (or desires, dreams or hopes for that matter).

Being a minority in this context feels lonely sometimes.  Trying to navigate a world that feels like it is designed for non-working moms (people really) is frustrating.  Juggling full time work with itty bitty people is HARD, and unless you do it yourself, you have NO CLUE just how HARD.  2/3 of moms get the luxury of more time with their babies that I do.  2/3 of moms don’t have to squish their life into a box built for non-working moms.  I am reminded of this reality every time I try to sign [Brae/Sienna] up for preschool, music, swimming, visit a museum, go to the library, etc.  Most preschools are designed around a 9-11:30 timeframe, swim class is offered at 10am on Tuesday, music is offered at 1:15 on Wednesdays, mommy matinees are offered during the classic work day, story times at the library are the during the traditional work day, DMV, DEQ and SSA close at 5, doctor and dentist offices operate M-F, banks are only open 9-5 etc.  Sure, there are a few evening and weekend options, which I try (and must for lack of other options) to take advantage of, and there are few preschools that have caught onto the fact some moms have to work BEFORE 9am, but the slots are limited, the facilities are limited, the opportunities are limited.  I have to get in line with the other 2,595,000 full time working moms struggling with the same limitations.  It is frustrating to always be subjected to waitlists, long lines, early enrollment deadlines, asking for favors, all because I work full time.  No one really talks about these challenges when you are in graduate school, embarking on a profession.  No one prepares women for the sacrifices they will have to make if they choose the daunting task of being a mom and a full time professional.  I desperately hope that by the time my children begin to start and grow their families that our country will embrace social policy and cultural change in a family-centric direction.  Countries, such as Sweden, that have gone through what I will call “mini revolutions” in this respect find people are happier, production increases, and divorce rates decrease.  These seem like things ALL people can support (regardless of marital or child status), not just working moms.