Profiles! (Part Three)

So we sent an email last night respectfully declining the 3 profiles. I did learn that those couples had not already seen us, so they do not know they were not chosen. Phew!
I was hoping to see more profiles today, but did not, so I sent a tail-between-my-legs email to the coordinator asking "do I offend?" (What movie is that from?)
She said no, but that she was busy with the July transfers and that the embryologist had actually pulled those 3 profiles. They are now aware that we do not desire egg/sperm donors.
Unfortunately, the coordinator said she doubts she'll be able to pull other matches this week, and she is on vacation next week. She said that the embryologist will be back on Monday and that she may be able to pull more matches.
We knew this was going to be a lengthy process. We have to get matched with at least 6 embryos and they all have to be at the same stage of development, so it is likely we will be matched with at least two couples. Once that happens, then we start negotiating the openness level.
It's definitely exciting to be at this stage, but in the back of my mind I'm keenly aware that 1) this whole process could not work (that thought never leaves my mind), but that 2) my thyroid levels may not be where they are supposed to be by September, so I'll be moved to a Nov transfer date.
But I really, honestly, feel at such peace. We are supposed to be doing this. Obedience every single step of the way.

Profiles! (Part Two)

So I actually received three profiles this afternoon! That's the exciting part. The not-so-exciting/frustrating part is that two of the profiles used egg donors. Tygh and I have repeatedly stated that we do not want a couple that used an egg or sperm donor, simply because we want any child born through EA to be able to contact his/her genetic match if he/she wanted to.
In any case, I've sent an email to the coordinator asking her to send us two more profiles to "replace" those two.
As for the third profile, I'm not super jazzed about it. I'll show it to Tygh tonight but I just don't feel that our match is in this couple.
The end goal is to be matched with at least 6 embryos, and they all have to be at the same stage of development for the transfer. While it's definitely exciting to be at this stage in the process, this is NOT the part when I want to make a decision just to make a decision. It has to be right.

Profiles!

The NEDC coordinator just emailed and said she'll be faxing 3 profiles to us tomorrow to review! YAY!
Also, the nurse had called me last week and said that all they were waiting on for complete medical clearance is the results of my thyroid test -- middle of July. So she told the coordinator to go ahead and schedule us for September!
If you think of it, please pray that one of these 3 profiles just stands out to us as the one God wants us to be "matched" with. As I understand it, these 3 couples have already "chosen" us, and now we can "choose" one (or more, if the #1 has less than 6 embryos) back.

Results.

Estrogen levels and ultrasound results are back... and they are good! Phew! Thank you, Lord!
The nurse called me this morning to say that she was switching my medication to the next part of the controlled cycle. This means that I'll start taking medication to get me to start a period, and once that starts, I can start taking birth control until my transfer date.
I'll need to pray about whether to start taking the BC now, or wait until it gets closer to the transfer. Still in my heart of hearts, I hope that we'll be able to get preggers on our own and not have to go back to Tenn, but as I'm even writing this, with where my thyroid levels are at right now, it is very unlikely we'd be able to conceive, and even if we did, miscarriage/birth defects are very likely results. There's also a lot of benefit to being on BC before a transfer -- it would "save" my own eggs for down the road (seems like a silly reason), but also because if there is any inflammation, endometriosis, etc., being on BC clears those up before the transfer.
So, see, there God has just spoken to me! Ha ha. Go on BC. Love how He does that. Thank you, Lord! ; )
So, I guess we'll go on BC.
I go back to get my thyroid levels re-checked in mid-July. If they are not within the "sweet spot" by then, they'll likely alter the medication and I'll have to wait another 6 weeks for results. That would put us at early Sept and dangerously close to having to move the transfer to Nov anyway. Just need to rest and trust that the Lord has continued to confirm we're supposed to be on this path, and that His timing alone is perfect.
I did connect with the nurse that is doing the matching process and she said she's working on the July matches now and then she'll start on the Sept matches. I don't expect to hear anything for several weeks.
So that's probably it for postings from me for a while. Nothing really should be happening until I take TSH levels in mid-July.

Thanks for all your prayers and support!

Update.

I had an ultrasound and estrogen blood test yesterday and the results were not what the doctor wanted to see. My lining was not as thick as they wanted, and my estrogen levels were not as high as they wanted. So, I'm going back tomorrow for a re-test.
The results were surprising to me because (I've been told) normally I have a thick lining and good estrogen levels. And Lord knows that all this hummus I'm eating on my gluten-free diet is packed with natural estrogen!
It could be because I'm on a "controlled" vs. natural cycle this month as they've instructed me to take estrogen pills. I suppose (in my non-medical mind) that those pills could have suppressed my natural estrogen production. Or, it could be my lovely autoimmune thyroid disorder. The dr. had requested a blood test of my TSH levels, and they came back TRIPLE what they are supposed to be. Also very surprising. So, he immediately altered my medicine dosage and wants my levels re-checked in 6 weeks. (That in itself would have delayed any hope of a July transfer since my TSH levels have to be within normal range before a transfer can take place -- otherwise miscarriage or birth defects are possible outcomes).
If tomorrow's test is not good (still not thick lining and still low estrogen levels), I'm TOLD (by the nurse) that all that means is that when they do the transfer, I'll have to be on a higher dosage of estrogen. I was somewhat relieved to hear that because part of me was expecting that I'd either have to re-do this whole controlled cycle again or they would (gasp!) medically disqualify me period.
Lately, I've been praying in earnest that God reveals His will to me in this area (yes, again) to confirm or disconfirm that we are on the right path with EA. I believe that we are, but it's so easy to think otherwise when the road gets difficult. Certainly, if I get medically disqualified, that's a closed door and we'd be on another path. I PRAY that is not God's will, and that all these medical bumps are simply His way of making my body the best vessel it can be when they transfer the embryos. I am, however, getting just a bit discouraged that my body just does not seem to cooperate -- contrary to my mind's will otherwise.
So, if you think of it, please pray that God does hit me over the head (yes, again) with confirmation/or not that we are on the right path.

Tennessee: be still and know I am God

I cannot say enough about our trip so far. Tenn is amazing. Knoxville is a total hillbilly town and we love it. We can barely understand half of what is said but the southern hospitality is thick. We've made great friends with our taxi drivers-Eddie and Jill. The donation center was amazing as well. When we walked in I was immediately drawn to a stack of Daily Bread devotionals. Right on the front cover was a verse I've come to know well: Psalm 46:10-"Be still and know that am I God." This is the same verse that a woman in my church stopped me with in the bathroom in February 2008. She said she didn't know what was going on in
life but she felt that God wanted me to know that He is God and I need to be still. So that verse has always been special to me. It was a great sign to see that verse at the clinic.
The dr appt was great. The dr was very thorough and engaged in us. The medical exam was equally as thorough. So much to say but I'm on the iPhone and in the taxi with Eddie who is talking to me about his floosie wife and his titanium hips. Suffice it to day the dr says I have a condition where my endometrium lining grows in my muscle which can cause infertility. It explains why I have heavy flows for just 2 days and then spot for several days. It's a condition I can't pronounce. But he says it's a very
mild case and does not disqualify us. He also says we have a mixed egg quality and mixed sperm issue that doesn't prevent conception but the embryos don't develop well. That could also explain why I ovulate but then don't start bleeding for 3 or 4 weeks. We could be conceiving but the embryos aren't developing. This was at least his best guess. He was also concerned with my thyroid condition and the nodules on
my thyroid. So he took a blood test to make sure my levels are normal but he seemed surprised I haven't done iodine therapy for my thyroid. Anyway he said he thought we are a good candidate for embryo adoption. Our success rate for live birth per transfer is about 50percent. After the med examthat involved a very uncomfortable procedure with a very full bladder we met with the embryologist and head nurse and them the office manager. The matching process has begun and we should know more in a couple weeks. Were looking hopefully at a transfer mid sept! They will transfer between 2-3 embryos.
Imtrying not to get too excited but it's hard. This process feels so much more smooth and ordained than our IVF process and is sooooo much less expensive I don't know why more people don't choose it. I suppose God leads each of us down our own paths in diff ways.
We still don't know why were led on this path or why it feels so right. We hope it's because our next baby is here in Tenn. Or maybe the purpose is just the journey and the faith and trust God is developing in us. Either way were excited to come back to tenn and just be a part of God's plan for us.