A Change of Plans

It's been a crazy week. First, my period never came (don't go thinking anything). Turns out I likely ovulated, but my hormones didn't get the memo and didn't produce what they needed to to then start a period. Or at least that's what my doctor thinks. So, still no period, but no pregnancy either. Seems like a cruel joke to think you missed your period because of a pregnancy only to find out that's not the case. Such is life inside my body, where my hormones don't seem to always communicate. Thankfully, the doctor thinks it's likely just a fluke month, so he wants me to check back next month to run some hormone tests.

On another note, I've been poked with needles five times this week, including a Tetanus shot that I didn't know I did NOT need until it was too late. The tests are all for the embryo adoption.

And that gets to the next point, the change of plans. Our Tennessee paperwork is almost complete. Just waiting for some bloodwork to come back (because did I mention that the doctor's office "lost" my other bloodwork?). That should come back Monday, at which point we should be on the incredibly long wait list for Tennessee.

But then (and here's the change of plans), I think we're NOT going to go through the Tennessee facility. When I went to drop off our fingerprints to our caseworker, I told her how discouraged I was that the wait was going to be so long. She suggested I look into my other options and what it would be like to go through the Bethany agency all the way. So, I called them this morning, and come to find out they are one of the few agencies that actually have a SURPLUS of embryos. More donors than recipients. So, once our homestudy is complete, the process could move, I quote, "very fast."

So I immediately called Tygh and we decided, what the heck, we'll go through Bethany. We'll probably still be on the NEDC wait list just in case that comes up first because we've already come this far with them and paid the necessary fee to get on the wait list. But we'll likely go through Bethany.

And by going through Bethany, one of our other dillemmas is solved: anonymous vs. open. Bethany only does open adoptions.

Next steps are to wait for our homestudy paperwork to be complete. Tygh has a physical coming up next week, and then we're waiting for our fingerprints/criminal background check to come back clean. After that, our homestudy can take place, and be written.

In the meantime, I've also re-connected with the fertility doctor's office to find out what next steps are there.

On one side, I'm a little relieved the wait won't be quite so long. I'm also (honestly) a little relieved to not have to travel -- to Tennessee or anywhere else. But there are some definite cons to going through Bethany. The cost is a little more expensive, which if it works, we'll recoup with the tax credit. If it doesn't work, we should be able to recoup some, but not all of it. The success rates are (statistically, according to the websites) a little lower going through basically any other fertility facility other than the Tennessee one (I'm convinced that's because God lives in the Tennessee facility!). Hopefully, though, He'll make an appearance at the local facility, too. ; )

And then, if it doesn't work, there is a long wait (at least a few months, probably) until we do the domestic adoption. That will be very hard, no lie.

I'm just SO torn. I've been praying fervently that God reveal His will to me, and I just am so confused as to what it is.

Trying to discern the voice of God and be obedient.