-- We had to put our beloved Golden Retriever (12 years old), Norm, down last week. He had a tumor in his nose that was spreading into his eye. He was having difficulty breathing. His last stool had blood in it. The vet said we were doing the right thing, and it wasn't too soon. She said he would have held on as long as he could, for us, but that it was time. When it was time, I couldn't go. Tygh went. Instead, I sobbed as we loaded Norm into the car one last time. And I've been crying ever since. And my dear husband, whom I've seen cry 3 times in nearly 8 years, cried. I miss Norm so much. The house seems so much lonelier. And our other beloved dog, Lilith (5 years), has been completely out of sorts ever since (lots of whimpering, and chewing up our walls). I know others may not agree with this as theologically sound, but I believe that Norm is in heaven. In my heaven, anyway. In my quiet time yesterday, I felt very strongly Jesus say to me, "Norm is with me. You will see him again. He's running in the fields." Thank you, Lord.
-- And then, we went on vacation. It actually helped to just leave the house for a week while we grieved. But, as expected, the silence was deafening when we came home. No Norm running out from the garage, barking. No dog hair all over the floor, the couches. No poop to pick up. And, since my sister had taken Lilith for the week, no pet to love on. Just humans in our house. It doesn't seem right.
But... since there is never a dull moment in our family, below is the bullet points of a fun-filled (albeit bittersweet) week...
-- It started off spectacularly, with a visit to the ER. That's right. The night before we left for vacation, Brae woke up in the middle of the night with a fever. So, we got some chocolate milk (don't worry - I gave him some real medicine, too), and he and I went downstairs, cuddled under some blankets, and watched 2 hours of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (the theme song still rings in my ears). Then, the next morning, I asked him, "Brae, do you remember being sick last night?" He paused. Then, he smiled. "Yes! Yo quiero do it again (I want to do it again!)". Sigh.
-- So, back to the ER part of the story. After Brae had the fever for 48 hours, Sienna got sick. And then Brae started puking. So, I took Sienna to the ER (while on vacation), and Tygh stayed home while Brae spent the entire day throwing up. Thankfully, both are now better.
-- Brae put a bottle of Vicks Vapo-Rub in his hair. (side note -- that stuff works better than any hair gel I've ever seen).
-- Brae insisted on making his own sandwiches. Peanut butter and jelly. And ketchup. (he ate the whole thing. Twice).
-- My sister-in-law and I took Brae and his cousin for a bike ride. The boys rode in the chariot that my sis pulled. Up hills. With Brae shouting from the comfort of his seat, "Go faster! Pedal. Your. Feet!"
-- Brae has OCD. He insists on touching things and not letting go until he counts to ten. And then he'll let go. Sadly, I think I inadvertently taught him this.
-- I have these little figurines in our house. They are on a table in the hallway. I like them to face a certain way. Brae likes them to face the other way. In the morning, they face north. At some point during the day, without me seeing, Brae turns them to face south. And then I turn them back. It's this little dance we do. We've never talked about it.
-- This evening, Brae saw me watering the flowers. He asked if he could help. I nodded, and handed him the watering can. I wanted him to feel independent, so I went inside to do other chores while he watered the flowers. A few minutes later, he came in with a huge grin and an empty can. I went outside. He did a great job. Watering all our rocks.
-- I've been teaching Brae to pray at night. We fold our hands, and I say a simple little prayer out loud for the both of us. The other night, I asked Brae to pray. As usual, we folded our hands and closed our eyes. I sat silently waiting for Brae to start praying. After about 30 seconds, Brae bursts out, "Amen!". Apparently, the boy likes to pray just in his head.
I'm so sorry about your precious Norm. I think the death of a beloved pet hits you especially hard when you have lived through infertility because your pets become such a part of your family as you wait and pray for children. My husband and I have two cats who fill a special place in our hearts, and I dread the day they are no longer with us.
ReplyDeleteI also just want to say that your son is adorable! I love all the Brae stories you share.
Norm IS in heaven: http://tinyurl.com/3olyvra.
ReplyDeleteRead it - you'll love it!
Bawled the first half of this post... Laughed out loud the second half (especially the figurine story).
so sorry about norm. he was an amazing dog. this made me tear up. on a lighter note, so glad you had a great vacation. SO bummed we didn't overlap this year.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you! I'm so sorry to hear this! He is in heaven, I just know it. Thinking of you during this hard time!!
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
I also believes that God cares about our pets. So many places in the bible he mentions his attention and care to various aspects of nature. I am so sorry for your loss of Norm. I am glad you had 12 full years with him. I don't get how people live without pets. We love our dog and three cats so much. I very much understand your grief.
ReplyDeleteI am so deeply sorry friend. Loosing a pet is like loosing a member of the family. Our doggies, afterall, were our first 'kids'.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about having to put down Norm...we have a beloved miniature dachshund, Toby, that we have had since Jan 2006. We absolutely love him and I can't imagine what that day will be like when he is no longer with us. Randy Alcorn has written a wonderful book entitled "Heaven." Alcorn is theologically sound author and has a section in the book about animals/pets possibly being in Heaven...he thinks there is a good chance that they will be with us in Heaven. :)
ReplyDeleteGlad Brae and Sienna are both better - no fun having sick kids on vacation (or any time really...)!
We just put our furbaby to sleep a month ago and the pain is there. Praying for your hurting heart!!!
ReplyDeleteYour Norm looks so much like our 10 year old golden. So sorry it was time to let him go. I dread that day with ours.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurts for you. We had to say good-bye to our precious dog that we had for 16 years. It was horrible! Then, we had to give our next dog away because she wasn't handling having a crawling baby around, invading her space. Once again, my heart ached!!
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note,I so enjoy your Brae stories! What a boy!!! Did the peanut butter/jelly/ketchup sandwiches occur before or after the puking episode? I'm sure that would have had me 'tossing up' my cookies!
I'm so glad that your two little ones are all better now!!!! XOXO
My heart hurts for you. I can't even imagine the quiet you feel in the house without Norm. I know he is in heaven too. Thinking of you. And, as far as the fun updates about Brae... love the figurines face off! Super funny! xo
ReplyDeleteI will admit it...I teared up reading about Norm. Our pets are so precious to us. We lost our 11yo black lab last year for many of the same reasons...it was just time to let him go with dignity. I was 3 months pregnant and a total mess. He was my dog before I met my husband, got married and had children...it was so hard for me to let him go. I believe he and Norm are in heaven too (even though they say that doesnt' happen...how can those loyal souls not have their heaven too?). I'm so sorry...I know the void left by a wonderful family member.
ReplyDeleteAs for the ER...we have been spending way too much time there too these days....first the baby had siezures and then the 3 year old got a concussion (thanks to the new puppy we got who knocked him over on the concrete). Luckily all are fine...but we know the best routes to the hospital now :). Parenthood....never a dull moment.
kd
So sad to have lost Norm. And glad to know that Brae is keeping it light for you around the house. At some point you're going to have to confront the figurine issue. Maybe at a toast at his wedding?
ReplyDelete