pre·co·cious
adjective \pri-ˈkō-shəs\
of a child : having or showing the qualities or abilities of an adult at an unusually early age
Full Definition of PRECOCIOUS
1
: exceptionally early in development or occurrence <precocious puberty>
2
: exhibiting mature qualities at an unusually early age precocious
This is Brae. At least, according to his teachers. I must admit, I had to look it up when they told me this is how they would describe him. I didn't know if they were giving me a compliment or not. (In truth, I still don't know).
You see, since Brae started kindergarten, we have been in regular communication with his teachers. He throws pencils. He can use potty words. He has to be at the front of the line. His paper has to be on top.
The teacher has a "behavior" chart. Red is bad. Yellow is a warning. Green is good.
Guess where Brae has spent most of his kindergarten days.
When the teachers have called, asking for advice, I tell them the truth. Yes, he's tired. He's adjusting to a long day. Yes, he is very smart, and if you do not keep him occupied, he will act out. And, quite frankly, yes, he's a 5-year-old boy with a big personality.
I don't want to break his spirit. However, I also want him to get a job one day, get married, and stay out of prison.
So, we have been working on his behavior issues at home. I'm told things improved last week at school. "Improved" being the operative word. "Improved" meaning he still got removed from gym class because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. "Improved" meaning he still got removed from music class for using potty words.
Sigh.
Dear Brae's teachers, don't you see what I still see?
I seriously think you and I are living in parallel universes sometimes. You just described my William to a tee. We did kinder last year and all these same things occurred. Lots of notes with teachers, lots of behaviour modificaiton at home, and lots of just loving that he was a 5 year old boy with a lot of energy, too many smarts for his own good and a devilish little streak that had him using potty words, being handsy with his friends and mouthy with the teachers. But as his mom...I just saw my sweet boy. yes...he has a tough exterior, but he has the softest underbelly with the biggest heart. Hang in there mama...my boy was slow to mature like that too. We are now in 1st grade and although he has had a couple moments...there has been vast improvement. Your sweet Brae will get there soon too. We found we had to be tough but loving to make sure that really great spirit underneath stayed strong but that he learned to have a bit more self control. We found that rewards for good choice days worked so much better than negative consequences for bad choice days. We still addressed the negative by identifying his currency (usually a video game or favorite toy)....we would take that from him...but he would quickly forget and move on to something else. What seemed to really stick was to set a medium term goal of a positive reinforcement of good choices like a trip to get frozen yogurt if he had three days of green cards. It taught him to think before he acted because the reward was of much more value than the consequence so it stayed with him longer. We then just started extending the days....5 green, 8 green etc. I shed a lot of tears last year thinking we were doing something wrong with all those red cards....but it is actually normal and just part of the maturing process for these busy boys. I'm sure you will see improvement too...he will grow and learn and hopefully he has as great a teacher as my son did who will work with you and love him through it.
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Great advice from the comment above! Parenting is so hard.
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