We are on the NEDC list.

I so wish that statement could be followed by an exclamation point, but I just cannot seem to muster up the energy behind it. I'm so discouraged by the incredibly long wait at NEDC that it does not seem much of a feat to be on a wait list where I'll be waiting more than SIX months just for a consult, and nearly A YEAR for the transfer.

In the meantime, I remain blessedly busy at work and in my personal life that I simply don't have time to dwell on the lack of a second baby blessing right now. I just trust that one day it will come, because I believe God has that in store for us.

Tygh has a doctor's appointment Friday (tomorrow), and that is the LAST document we need before we can ship everything up to the Bethany office and wait for our homestudy to be scheduled. It's also the last document we need to start the matching process for the Bethany embryo part. So, we hope that we can actually start talking to someone at Bethany about our matching preferences, an openness agreement, and a profile by next week!

I also have an appointment with the doctor here who would perform the transfer next Wednesday. I'm kind of excited about that.

This all seems incredibly surreal and sort of out-of-body. I have to say, I'm letting my discouragement get the best of me and have little faith the embryo adoption is actually going to work. Perhaps that stems in large part from the fact I don't trust my body. I still have not gotten a period, and yet still not pregnant. It's like my body is the enemy.

So then I just have to trust God instead, which is hard to do, because He made this body of mine.

Just some honest talk tonight.