You may recall that with Sienna, we had backup donors. They had four "top grade" embryos. Since we were doing open adoptions, I got to know not only Sienna's donors, but our backup donors as well. We actually became friends and have remained in communication for nearly two years now.
After our success with Sienna, we decided to lovingly return the backup embryos to NEDC. It was an excruciatingly difficult decision. As badly as I wanted to adopt them, my husband and I were just not at the same page at that time with keeping them. We felt that until we were unified in that decision, the right thing to do was to return them in the hopes they would be released from limbo.
Months went by and these embryos still were not adopted. That puzzled me, because I knew they were of such a high grade, but I also know that open adoptions are less common than anonymous, so perhaps that was the reason.
About a year later, the embryos were adopted. They were again the "backup embryos." And, again, the couple got pregnant with their "first try" embryos. And, again, that couple lovingly returned the backup embryos to NEDC.
After I learned this, I approached my husband again with the possibility of adopting these embryos back. And that's when he told me that he just did not feel led to do that, and instead felt led toward adopting through our state.
Heartbreakingly, I told our backup donors that it was just not meant to be for us, but that I would continue to pray over these embryos, and their fate.
During all this time, these backup donors remained steadfastly positive about the fate of their precious embryos, knowing that they would be released at the right time, and to the right couple.
A few months ago, they were adopted by a third couple. Recently, the four were thawed, and three survived and were transferred.
No pregnancy resulted.
I'm shocked.
I'm shocked because it's just a simple reminder that God is in control of life from beginning to end. Not even the very best in medical technology, science, or the most brilliant and careful doctors and staff can ensure the beginning of life. Life remains the province of our Creator.
I also feel a sense of comfort and peace. Comfort for our backup donors that they now feel some rest, knowing the fate of those children. Comfort that God, as painful as it was, steered us away from re-adopting those embryos, which, knowing their fate, would have caused us more heartache and pain.
And peace, knowing that for that third adopting couple, while they no doubt are experiencing the heartache and pain of a failed attempt, that God still put this desire in their hearts, and He will be faithful to fulfill it, or take it away.
Our story is similar in that we released 8 of Abel and Belle's genetic siblings back because realistically, we didn't know when we could return for them (if ever) and didn't want their lives waiting in limbo. It was a hard decision, but I prayed for God to have some closure and lo and behold, He did in an amazing way thru Jeff & Tracey. And the amazing thing is that they were anonymously "donated" and adopted embryos. The NEDC won't tell you any details, but God intervened anyway! What a blessing that Abel and Belle will get to know their genetic sister! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful that you can know what happened instead of just wondering.
ReplyDeleteSometime I am a little sad that we have no remaning embryos available to try for a genetic sibling for Leland. (We thawed all five we adopted & transfered three that survived the thaw). But I know that the closure it brought us at the time, and even more the closure it provided for our donors, is such a blessing.