False alarm.

I had a false alarm on Friday.

I was having lots of painful cramping and contractions, and they seemed to all be running together. I also got a little paranoid that I didn't think I was feeling her move that much.

I called the on-call doctor, and he told me to go in to get monitored.

I did and everything is just fine. I'm having lots of "uterine irritability", followed by some Braxton-Hicks contractions, but not labor. (BOO!)

The really frustrating part was the on-call doctor's evaluation of me. For the last several weeks, my doctor has said I was at station -1, 80% effaced, and apparently 1 cm dialated. This doctor said I am at station -4, not at all effaced, and not at all dialated.

Sienna is never coming.

; )p

38 Weeks: Just Chillin' and Observations of a 2-year-old

I'm officially term. Sienna doesn't care.

She's waited forever to be born, and I've waited forever for her to be here. Sienna doesn't care.

She "dropped" about a month ago, making my bladder the size of a teaspoon, which causes me to walk around like there's a bowling ball between my legs. Sienna doesn't care.

I'm still at station -1, still 80% effaced, and still not dialated. (Well, I "may" be a "fingertip" dialated, says the dr. But I think he just offered that up half-heartedly to appease the look on my face). Sienna doesn't care.

I know, I know. First pregnancies usually go late. There should be no reason to think she'd come early. Get over it, Britney. Besides, she's a lot easier to take care of in there than outside of here (although I'd be bored out of my mind in there). She's clearly enjoying herself, so let her be. Stop with the Britney pity party.

Moving on... observations of a 2-year-old:

1) Can we address this basketball obsession for a moment? It's been going on for over a year now. The boy plays basketball every.single.night. He watches basketball on TV, live pick up games, and even high school basketball games. Whenever he sees a basketball hoop, like on walks or driving, he shouts: "Mommy! Yo quiero dunk it!" (Mom, I want to dunk it!) He goes to "sports camp" each Saturday, where he is supposed to learn/play a new sport each week. You guessed it. Every Saturday, without fail, he's the only kid not playing the other sports, but in the corner, by himself, shooting hoops. I think we have a phenom on our hands. Or, at least, as my husband says, he has the passion. And hey, isn't that all you really need?

2) Boys break things. A lot. Latest casualties are door handles and blinds. Note to self: next house will not have doors or window coverings. I'm looking forward to tea parties.

3) Brae officially knows more Spanish than I do (and I know quite a bit). Since he was 13 weeks old, he has spent 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, communicating in Spanish at his little community immersion daycare/school. I'm not good at math, but that is a LOT of exposure to Spanish. Recently, he's been rambling a lot, and I sometimes can't understand him. I figured it was 2-year-old jibberish. Apparently not, apparently it's 2-year-old jibberish, but in Spanish. At school yesterday when we picked him up, the teachers were chuckling that Brae refers to one of the instructors as a "lechuza." I was puzzled. I didn't know that word. As the teachers were rummaging through books to try and find a picture to explain it to me, Brae comes up and says, "Mommy, la lechuza is owl." Tygh and I stared at each other, stunned.

4) Brae is bossy. I've noticed it for a while, so I decided to ask his teachers about it. They nodded. He's "el jefe" (the chief). But they just shrugged and said that he's the natural born leader of the group. Thanks, ladies, for putting a positive spin on it.

5) We've entered the land of make-believe. I'm now finding myself standing behind the bathroom door, giggling, as he takes a bath just listening to him talk to (re-phrase: order around) Mr. Potato Head. Warms my heart.

Email from the birthmom.

Last week, my sister in law inspired me to send an email to Brae's birthmom. I wanted to thank her for the incredible gift she gave us in our son. Now 38 weeks pregnant myself, for the first time, I feel I can relate to her on a whole new level -- what it must be like to carry a child for 9-10 months and then relinquish it in love to another family. It astounds me.

So, I decided to email her a note of thanks. Keep in mind, I did not expect a reply. Although I've regularly sent her emails with pictures and updates of our son, she rarely responds. In fact, despite sending numerous emails over the last 7 months, I have never once heard back from her. I don't fault her for this at all, or pass any judgment on it. Again, I cannot imagine what it is like to feel a child move inside of you, and then allow another family to forever hold that child and call it their own. I trust that her way of "moving on" is best for her.

My email was simple. A thank you for giving us the gift of parenthood. To my absolute and complete shock, she responded. This is what she said:

"I like to think God gave me this situation to show me I'm strong enough to do anything. Brae was made in me to be born to you.

When I met you and Tygh, I felt such a peace in my soul knowing you were the parents of Brae. I've never second guessed that decision, even with the difficulty of paperwork, and visits, and judgments from family and friends. I knew a peace that can only come from Jesus Christ.

Thank you for being the parents I trusted you to be. I love you both with a deep love that I can't explain as we are perfect strangers drawn together by the strength and love of Jesus.

You are a beautiful, loving mother, and I can't tell you the joy I feel knowing you are finally experiencing everything you always dreamed of. I look forward to seeing everyone this fall."

Wow. I am blessed beyond measure.

Scenes from a baby shower

She's okay!

Thank you thank you for your prayers and encouragement. They were felt. ; )

We had about a 30 minute ultrasound this afternoon. Sienna is NOT measuring small. In fact, she's in the 38th percentile, and they estimate she weighs about 6 lbs., 6 oz. All of her measurements were good, including fluid levels. She was moving around a lot.

The high risk doctor said everything looks great and not to be worried. She thought the doctor I saw yesterday was unable to get a good measurement because she's down so low.

She is still at station -1, I'm still 80% effaced, and not dialated. Her heartrate was 134 today.

We even got some 3d shots of her, and my is she a cutie! (Of course, I'm biased!). She does have these adorable, pucker-like lips that I can't wait to kiss myself.

This little scare definitely sealed the deal for me. I am 100% completely, totally, hopelessly in love with this little girl. Any doubt I ever had about whether I'd be able to love her as much as my son has disappeared. I already do.

On a much (much) lighter note, the following:

1) Sienna gave me a Mother's Day card. It said, "Hi Mom, I can't wait to see you. Push hard."

2) I'm putting together my "labor playlist" on my Ipod. I'm taking suggestions, so please offer up. At this point, I'm thinking some winners are "Under pressure," "We are the champions", and "Eye of the tiger".... what do you think? ; )

Quick prayer request (please)

Yesterday, I went in for my 37 week appointment. I saw a new doctor and he said my belly is measuring small -- about 2.5-3 weeks behind. He said it could be due to a variety of factors -- she's just smaller, it's hard to get an accurate read because she's so far down, or I'm just a smaller person. Worst case is that she's stopped growing, or there is some abnormality.

He ordered a "fancy" ultrasound for today.

Please, if you think of it, lift up a prayer for little Sienna?

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us." (Ephesians 3:20).

Thank you and I'll update later.

And just like that... she made everyone cry

My baby shower yesterday was spectacular. (Pictures to come later).

But probably the highlight came right at the beginning when my sister-in-law read the following, and brought the whole room to tears (thanks, Kell).

"A Lesson in Waiting"

In 2001, a baby was conceived in Ohio in a petri dish, along with 8 of her genetic siblings. Then she was frozen.

In 2003, Tygh and Britney met. Sienna was waiting.

In 2005, Tygh and Britney married. Sienna was waiting.

In 2008, Brae was born. Sienna was waiting.

In 2009, God told Britney she would get pregnant. Sienna was waiting.

In 2010, Sienna and all of her genetic siblings traveled, frozen, to Tennessee. Sienna was waiting.

That same year, six of Sienna's genetic siblings were adopted by another family, and thawed. None survived. Sienna was waiting.

In April 2010, God told Britney they would have a daughter one day, and were to name her Sienna. Sienna means "Promise of God." Sienna was waiting.

In July 2010, Tygh and Britney were chosen to be the parents of 3 frozen embryos. Sienna was waiting.

In September 2010, Tygh and Britney traveled to Tennessee to get their babies. Two of them are in heaven. As the only one left of her 8 other genetic siblings, Sienna was waiting.

In December 2010, Tygh and Britney had an ultrasound. The doctor said that their baby was in a "very strange" position. The doctor said, "It looks like your baby is praying." Sienna was waiting.

In January 2011, Tygh and Britney found out, as God had promised, that they were having a little girl. Sienna was waiting.

And now, Sienna will wait just three more weeks for something she has waited 10 years for -- to meet her Mommy and Daddy, and big brother.

Sienna is waiting.

36 week appointment: What the heck?

A couple "what the hecks?":

-- I have lost two pounds since Thursday, making total weight gain now at 22 lbs. What the heck? Bring back the Dairy Queen, stat!

-- I had a dream last night that Sienna was born weighing in at 13.5 lbs, and was 15.5 inches long (both very, very strange measurments for a newborn). Even more strange, she came out with long jet-black hair, and was speaking Spanish. She looked at me, wide-eyed and said, "Yo quiero ir home" (I want to go home). What the heck?

Other items of note:

-- Her head is still at station -1.

-- I am 80% effaced, not dialated, but according to the doctor "wanting to dialate".

-- On the dinosaur ultrasound machine, she still had her legs closed (modest soul), but we pray believing she is STILL a girl. She also had a full bladder. Why do us girls always insist on holding it?

-- We could see she has HAIR! Yay!

Over the last couple of days, I have fallen more and more in love with this little creature. I cannot wait to meet her, to hug her, to hold her, and to smother her with kisses.

And this Saturday is my baby shower!!!!!!!

35 Weeks: Bring back the Dairy Queen!

35 week update:

-- At my last appointment, I was gaining 2 lbs/week. I promptly informed my husband that we were no longer taking nightly trips to Dairy Queen for my Oreo blizzard. I also started walking more. Well, yesterday, despite those efforts, I'm still gaining 2 lbs/week. So, bring back the Dairy Queen!

-- Sienna has officially dropped. All the way. In our birthing class, we learned about 'stations'. For example, a "floating" baby who has not started to descend is at "Station -5". A baby completely out of you and born has just passed "Station +5". Station zero means baby is fully engaged and won't get any further without pushing. Sienna is at "Station -1." According to my doctor, who emphasized he does not give that position lightly, Sienna will not get any further down until I start pushing. I think she's been down for a while, because I've noticed it is much more difficult to walk, and man, I pee a LOT!

-- Dr. commented that Sienna is still very active and "excited."

-- He opined she'd weigh about 7 lbs "if" I got to my due date. (Apparently, a baby typically doesn't drop as much as she has until about 2-4 weeks before delivery. I'm just outside of 4 weeks away).

-- Tygh and I came up with our birth plan. We understand we need to write it down and the hospital will place our birth plan on every clipboard of every nurse, doctor, etc. who comes into my room. So we knew we had to have a good birth plan. I told our doctor our birth plan. It is this: "Get. baby. out. safe." Seriously. That's our birth plan.

-- A cute Brae story. Brae generally is aware that there is someone -- or thing -- that people call 'Sienna'. He knows there is pink stuff around the house and people refer to that stuff as belonging to 'Sienna'. He knows that when people ask him where Sienna is, they want to see him point to my belly or kiss it. But then, well, at other times, he's clueless. For example, the other day, he and I were playing basketball. He threw up his basketball and then he couldn't find it (it was behind him). He was looking all around for it (except behind him). He'd say, "Mommy! Where's my basketball?", with a confused look on his face. I'd say, "I don't know. You have to keep looking." Then, slowly, he'd get a little angry. His face started to scowl. His eyebrows started to furrow. Then, he looked accusingly at me, and pointed to my belly. "Mommy....." he said, clearly implying I had hidden the basketball under my shirt.

34 week appointment. NO MORE DAIRY QUEEN!

I had my 34 week appointment yesterday. It was all of about 5 minutes.

-- Mild scare that maybe I had preeclampsyia (sp?) based on urine sample, but blood pressure was low, so nurse didn't seem concerned and dr. didn't even bring it up.

-- Sienna measuring on track. Heart rate 130. Head still down.

-- Belly button has popped. Not attractive beneath shirts.

-- Swelling of feet has emerged at night. My toes look like little smokies.

-- Sleep is becoming more and more difficult. I get up to pee about 5-10/night, and am constantly trying to find a comfortable position. And, according to my husband, I've taken on a new trait of snoring.

-- Although I don't "love" being pregnant, I remain completely grateful for this miracle, for this opportunity, for this chance to experience pregnancy. I know more than anyone how much I wanted this, dreamed of this, cried myself to sleep longing for this experience. I am thankful.

-- Despite the bullet above, I do not like being a planet. I've gained 4 lbs in the last 2 weeks. Buh-bye nightly DQ Oreo blizzards. I'll miss you. (And I am no longer posting my weight!)

Third Birthing Class: A bullet list

-- We saw the video last night. You know which one I'm referring to. Yup, that one. I've witnessed the birth of my son. But this was different. This was on a big screen. In high-def.

-- My husband was starving. We had gone through a drive-thru and gotten him a hamburger to eat in the class. The hamburger stayed in the bag the whole class. He had lost his appetite.

-- He told me on the way home that as soon as my legs go vertical, he's leaving the room.

-- Suffice it to say there will be no mirrors of any kind allowed in my delivery room. And all non-essential personnel must stay where I can see them. Nobody's getting a free peek in my room.

-- If you recall from my last post about the first class, the first stage of labor is about 8 hours and not much happens. My husband joked quietly to me that he could get in a round of golf. I raised my hand and asked if it was okay to keep working during that stage of labor. My husband was moritifed. And, by the look on the instructor's face, she was too.

-- Apparently, some women ask to keep their placentas. Some put them in the freezer. Some plant them because they contain a lot of nutrients that help trees and other plants grow. My husband and I decided there is a business opportunity there. We'd pay to purchase all the unwanted placentas from hospitals and start a landscaping business. We'd call it Plantscentas.

-- A cute side story: the other night, Brae and I went for a walk. We came upon an old man standing in his driveway. He was wearing an undershirt and boxers and was barefoot. He was smoking a cigarete. He had long, wild white hair sticking straight in the air. He had a long, straggly white beard. As we passed him, Brae waved and said, "Hi Santa!"

More Baby Bump Pics!

Baby Bump Pics... A preview

32 Week Appointment

Blessedly uneventful.

Heart rate was 130.

Doctor could feel a contraction. I couldn't. Good thing?

Not leaking any amniotic fluid. All looks in tact.

Have gained a total of 18 lbs. So, about a pound a week. Looks like I will get to that "magic" 25 lb mark after all! (Thank you, Dairy Queen).

My husband referred to this baby, for the first time, as "my daughter." I didn't want to show him how much that meant to me, but I was squealing inside.

If you've ever miscarried...

And wondered what happened to your baby... this tells you. We have 3 up there. http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2011/February/Child-Offers-Parents-a-Window-to-Heaven/

First Birthing Class: A bullet list

-- There were approximately 10 couples there. We were the only ones that already have a child.

-- All of us are due within weeks of each other. And are all delivering at the same hospital.

-- We watched a video and saw lots of graphics of the female anatomy, pregnant

-- I was the only one who got up to use the bathroom, repeatedly

-- There is a "contraction counter" app available on an iphone. We have a "baby app" on my husband's iphone. It was free. The "contraction counter" is an "advanced" app that costs $3. We don't want to pay $3 for it. We'll use a stopwatch. That's free.

-- The first phase of labor lasts about 8 hours, and not much happens. My husband thinks he can get in a round of golf.

-- The instructor had a life-sized cloth infant that she held up to her belly to simulate a birth.

-- My husband was uncomfortable the entire time.

-- At the end of the night, my husband and I had the following dialogue:
ME: So what did you learn tonight, honey?
HUSBAND: (After a long pause) .... I learned you have a mucus plug in your cervix. ME: You didn't know that?
HUSBAND: I never wanted to know that.

On a related note, you know how every marriage goes through seasons? Right now, my husband and I are in a very sweet, intimate season. No longer nauseated, I feel more like myself. There is a sense of teamwork as we prepare for Sienna's arrival. There is a sense of gratitude for the son we already have, and the precious little time we have left with just him alone. There is a sense of peace that soon, our little family will be complete.

A very special email

A couple days ago, we received a very special email. It was from the aunt of our son's birthfather. She made this incredible video/music montage for our son. It made us cry. I hope it brings beautiful tears to you, and reveals some of the tenderness we have in our hearts about adoption.

Adoption can be, and is, a very beautiful thing.

(PS-- the last series of photos with Brae at the zoo were taken by Brae's birthfather's side of the family. It was our first visit with him since the day Brae was born. One of my favorite pictures is of Brae on his birthfather's shoulders, with his Daddy (my husband) walking right beside him).

If that is not the ultimate picture of redemption, I don't know what is.

Porky.

Today was my 30 week appointment.

The ultrasound machine was old, but we could tell that Sienna is head down, looking at my pelvis, sunny side up. We still think she is a girl, although she had her legs closed. Modest soul. We got to see her heart beat, and her little lungs move up and down and she breathed. A miracle.

I've gained a total of 16 lbs -- 3 in the last 2 weeks, so I think I'm finally catching up. (My husband's "baby app" on his iphone says the average is 25-35lbs at this point!) Although I'm not there yet, you can call me Porky.

I don't have gestational diabetes. I have the opposite problem. I'm hypoglycemic. My blood sugar levels were below normal. I was not totally surprised by this, as my mom is the same way. I've probably always been this way, but just never been tested for it. Dr. said to just watch out for dizziness.

Dr. also said that I'm at high risk for post-partum depression. He said looking at my history (teenage anxiety), my recent history (I def got the baby blues after Brae was born), and my current situation -- first pregnancy and taking care of a toddler, makes me a prime candidate to watch. He wants me to start seeing someone now to talk about preventative measures. I definitely think I could, and probably will, get the baby blues after Sienna is here. I'm not at all scared or nervous about the labor and delivery. It's actually the time I've been looking forward to since the beginning. But I am very scared about bringing her home.

I have a good support system, but my husband can only take so much time off work. There will be lots of sleepless nights, zombie-like days, and I'm supposed to take care of a 2.5 year old. Under normal circumstances, my coping mechanism is running. I love running. I love the endorphins, the adrenaline, the solitude, everything about it. I have not run for nearly 9 months. And it is still at least another good 3 before I'll be able to again. Having Sienna in the summertime will help, I'm sure, but I'm not naive or proud enough to say that I won't fall into some kind of depression. I don't think it will be full-on PPD where I feel hopeless and am completely paralyzed. But I do think that I will fall into a funk.

But it won't be because I'll miss being pregnant (I'm so grateful for the experience, but have not loved being pregnant). It will be because I'll be completely sleep deprived and have no semblance of a schedule. That is just complete chaos for my makeup and constitution. Having this be my first pregnancy but my second child, I have no idea how my body will react or recover physically from this pregnancy. But I don't have the luxury of just holding a newborn as I figure it out. I have to also run after a little boy.

As a dear friend who has a newborn and a toddler put it recently, with her eyes wide open, "It's so hard."

It will be so hard. I just have to remember it's short lived, and ultimately, so worth it.

(P.S.-- I have my baby belly pictures this weekend, so I'll make sure to post once I get them!)

Money, money, money

A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that we have a daughter coming (in 10 weeks) and she's going to be expensive.... and not just because she's a girl! So, I decided to put together our budget. I gathered a list of our income, and an average of our committed expenses (bills). There was a very healthy cushion left over. That was the good news. The bad news is that is not reality. We do NOT have a healthy cushion left over each month. So, this evening, Tygh and I put together a very serious budget. The kind with all the spreadsheets and everything. We tracked our discretionary expenses, made sure the tithing amount was 10%, and added in Sienna's daycare costs. Ummmm. Yeahhhhhhh. Ouch. Suffice it to say that when she arrives and goes to daycare/school in September, the Colton household budget is extremely tight. That's when reality set in and we decided to make some lifestyle changes. Less going out to eat (which is rare anyway), less "grooming (aka manis/pedis), just overall less in general. Bottom line, until we make more, we need to spend less. I know this isn't rocket science, but it's still really hard to put into practice. Especially for me. We've already made some initial changes -- generic groceries vs. brand name, more walking the dogs ourselves and less doggie day care. Let's face it -- kids are expensive. That said, we believe God will provide, as He always has. We believe it is important to tithe, so we are committed to that. We also believe in being good stewards of our money, so if that means that my roots have to show a little longer than I like, so be it. (Just please don't make any comments about it!) ; )

28 Weeks!

Hello 28 weeks, and helllooooo 3rd (and final!) trimester! It's so nice to meet your acquaintance. I trust you'll be kinder to me than your two younger sisters.

Today was my glucose screening test. It was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. For weeks, I've heard horror stories about how awful the sweet drink would be. First, I selected the orange kind. Second, they had it cold for me. Third, I drank it with a straw. I was surprised at how NOT bad it tasted. (Course, I'm a sugar girl, and had been abstaining all day). The only bad part is that at 2 minutes left (they give you 10), I still had a ways to go. That's when I just had to start suckling down the stuff. That's when I could see why other women have thought it so bad. There's this bitter after taste when you suck it down that fast. And you immediately want some water, and yet, can't have any.

Right after I drank, I had my dr appt. It was not with my regular ob/gyn, so it was a little less comfortable. I've gained a total of 13 lbs. Heart rate was 145. He said my uterus doesn't have much more room to grow upward, so I'm going to start protruding horizontally.

Sienna has been moving a lot more lately, and for the first time, others are able to feel it. That's pretty cool. Even though I'm not a huge fan of the baby movements, I am starting to get more used to them, and of course, greatly appreciate and am thankful for them.

Hearturn is still pretty bad. Still adverse to meat. But no vomiting, and only mild nausea in mornings/evenings. Sleep isn't so bad, except for the frequent trips to the bathroom. My hair is growing rapidly, as I'm noticing the roots start to show (I wasn't born blond; but I was born to BE a blond!)

And... sorry if TMI ... but I've started leaking the colostrum.

Yummy.