The meds arrived the other day. A big cardboard box on my front stoop.
I opened the box up and got a sick, sick feeling in my stomach when I saw ALL those needles and medications. All this paperwork to read. It brought me back to the IVF cycle (almost 2 years to the date). I felt physically ill. Do I REALLY want to go through this again?
If you have never done IVF (or a FET or embryo adoption), something changes in you once you poke that first needle. You become a slave to a calendar, to ultrasound appointments, to blood tests. It is not fun. For me, this time around, I'm really not looking forward to it.
Today, I received my medication protocol. I feel so overwhelmed. Here it is in a nutshell (I'm writing this mostly for my benefit as I can't see that the following is interesting to anyone):
8/17: start Lupron
8/21: stop birth control pills; continue with Lupron
8/26: ultrasound and labs
8/27-30: start Estrace; continue with Lupron
8/31-9/4: increase Estrace; continue with Lupron
9/5: stop Lupron
9/5-9/13: increase Estrace
9/13: ultrasound and labs
9/14: start progesterone (aka the "ouch" shot) 1x/day; continue Estrace
9/15-9/16: progesterone 2x/day
Then I just get confused by what goes on 9/17 and 18, but the transfer is set for the 18th.
As you can imagine, I have a call into the nurse because I'm utterly confused by a lot of this.
Lord -- I feel overwhelmed and just exhausted by looking at all of this. Please give me peace that this will all work out how You want it to. I pray that my "body home" will be in the best shape it can be to welcome these new little lives. And from there, well, it's all up to You. Do as You see fit.
Amen.
Yay! No, I haven't gotten my transfer date or protocol yet...Hopefully soon, though! I'll definitely let you know when I find out. :)
ReplyDeleteI understand the anxiety. I have not received any medications yet, but I am starting to get nervous and keep asking myself "why did I get us into this?" I have not done any IVF or FET cycles before. I am excited to get things going though. We have been going down this road for over a year now and it is nice to finally feel like we're doing something. I don't have a date or protocol yet. I am trying to restrain myself from pestering the nurse!
ReplyDeleteYou are completely right, it's up to God, and He has a magnificent, perfect plan.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the sick feeling when you look at the needles. That's why I try not to look at them!!! I'm not kidding. I am the biggest baby about needles.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I got a shot, I thought, "This is going to be worth it! This is going to be worth it!" Put the blinders on, and take one day at a time my friend.
I agree with Krisa- don't look at the needles, especially the PIO needles! I about passed out the first time my hubby got that one out! You can do it though!
ReplyDeleteYour faith will see you through each shot! You have such a strong trust in the Lord. That is evident in all your posts. I loved your prayer at the end. Rest in Him, He will see you through. What we are doing is an honor to be able to serve Him this way by providing our bodies as an opportunity to release these little ones to continued life! Thank you once again for your honesty and transparency as you walk this journey to hold another little one.
ReplyDeleteIt is all a bit daunting. I know you really aren't looking forward to all of the medicating and ultrasounds and such. I hope you find peace with the process and the wonderful results it can have.
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